Forgiveness is healing
I am not a regular church goer but I do attend services for the big holy days.
I don't even think of myself as spiritual and I am definitely not Roman Catholic. I only attend this church because of my wife. I don't even think of the existence of God as a definite being or the subject of discussion of some importance.
My life had not been going extremely well and the Christmas season is towards the end of the year, a time to reflect upon the successes and failures of the past year. My past year being one made up of one incredible failure after another, most of those due to my own failings and weaknesses.
I sat there in the pew half listening to the service and mostly thinking of those failures. I became aware of a presence around and in me. I felt warm and suddenly comforted. It was like a door opened and light and heat rushed forth and touched my face.
I wanted to confess all I had done and what I had failed to do. I wanted not to hurt anymore and I wanted forgiveness. I wanted to start again and understand why these things happened to me.
As I tried to seek forgiveness, some understanding and words came to me. These words said that in order for me to be forgiven, I must forgive others.
Yes, there were people who I had not forgiven because it had been too hard to let go what they had done to me or what I thought they had done to me. I thought of them and one by one I came to see that I must let it go and forgive them.
I then felt my own forgiveness being placed on me. Tears in my eyes that seemed to wash away the hurt and pain. What I felt was true and not related to any religion but an incredible spiritual experience.